May 7 -- LIFE OF RYAN

PHOENIX -- So, upon entering the Phillies' clubhouse after last night's 6-4 loss, one of the first people I saw as I walked toward Charlie Manuel's office was Ryan Howard.

Well, I only saw his back.

While most of the Phillies were quietly eating dinner or making their way to and/or from the shower, Howard was sitting on a chair, facing his locker, and fiddling with his cell phone. When we reporters walked out of Manuel's office a few minutes later, he still was in the same position. These seemingly are stressful times for Howard, who struck out again in a pinch-hit appearance last night and is batting .168. Since his game-winning homer last Thursday night at the Bank, he's 1-for-16 with eight strikeouts.

And although he picked up two RBIs and hit several balls hard Monday night, I thought his pre-game comments yesterday about how he judges himself relative to how others judge him revealed something about his state of mind lately: "To me, it's all about seeing the ball and having good at-bats," Howard said. "To everyone else, it's about results. That's how it is in the media and everywhere else. So that's that. People see what they want to see. There's a lot of stuff that you don't see, other stuff that's going on. I try to do what I can to help the team win in whatever ways I can."

OK, what do you make of that?

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When it came to the four-pitch, bases-loaded walk he issued to D-backs pitcher Randy Johnson (a .126 career hitter) in the five-run fourth inning last night, Adam Eaton didn't mince words.

"To walk the pitcher on four pitches is pretty pathetic," he said. "I [bleeped] up. I don't think Arizona beat us. I think I beat ourselves."

Here's a sobering stat for the Phillies: Eaton's ERA in his first three starts was 4.12. His ERA in his last four starts is 7.23.

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Depending on where you live, your paper may have included this early-edition story on Carlos Ruiz, who suddenly has seven hits in his last 16 at-bats after batting .188 at the start of last week. The difference: Manuel said Ruiz is using his hips and legs more, instead of trying to swing only with his upper body.

***
Kyle Kendrick goes to the mound today, and he says he's trying to be more like Brandon Webb. Who isn't? Webb, who starts tomorrow for the D-backs, may be the best pitcher in baseball right now (he's 7-0 with a 2.49 ERA). Like Kendrick, Webb is a sinker-ball pitcher. But Webb also has a nasty changeup, and Kendrick, who is trying to develop that pitch, said yesterday he was planning to ask Webb for pointers. Good idea.

More later from Chase Field.